The Journal
by Ivy O'Hara
Summary: Bella is bored in her new cottage without any company or any desires. She goes into her room and opens her closet to find entertainment. She finds Edward's box and one of them happened to be a secret journal. She wants to know what happens during his life
1. The Mysterious Journal

**Okay, it just came into mind, like all my stories and I thought this would be a great project to work on. Enjoy!**

_Bella's POV_

I was laying on my couch in the living room with no desire of having anything to do but lay down. Edward went back to Carlisle and Esme's mansion since he wanted to play the piano or help out his family. I assured him that I wanted to stay home today, just to relax and I insisted that he should take my little Renesmee with him. He didn't dare to argue luckily so he left in peace with Renesmee in his arms. Renesmee is eight months old and looks like an eight year old with her beautiful bronze curly hair hanging on the sides of her hips. Rosalie and Alice love her dearly, probably more than they love me, which is fine. I don't blame them a bit.

It was noon on a Saturday afternoon, but nothing to do in this little cottage. I decided to go into my room, trying to find something to do. I could go to my bathroom to take a shower, but that doesn't light sparks in my brain. I walked upstairs, groaning. Maybe I should have gone with Edward and Renesmee, but I guess I have no common sense. Even if I'm a vampire, I don't have common sense. My throat was burning so maybe I should go hunt. What am I kidding; I hunted yesterday.

I was finally in my bedroom, sitting on our never really used bed, but Edward and I sometimes like lying here so we can talk. We sometimes do more than just talking…but I'm not going into any detail. I opened our closet, hoping to find something to do like cards or something. I saw clothes and stuff but something caught my attention. A box that had Edward's name on it saying, "Edward's belongings" with sharpie. I raised my eyebrow, grabbing the box since I was anxious. I never had seen this box before in my life so this might be secretive, but how did it get here? Edward, I'm guessing but why would he hide this from me?

I placed the box on my bed, opening the box up. It was already open so he must have put some things in here recently. I saw all old artifacts he had like records, binoculars, pictures, letters, but something that caught my attention: there was journal. A light blue journal that seemed more like a diary. I opened it from the cover and it said, "Edward Anthony Masen, 1914-1918". He had a journal! Now he never told me this! I have to read this, he'll never know so it's perfect, but Alice might…oh no! Alice better block the images, oh wait, she's at Alaska, visiting Tanya! Yes! Privacy! But wait, if I had a journal, he wouldn't read it without my permission. Wait a minute; am I insane? Of course he would read it; it's typical Edward. I took a deep unnecessary breath and flipped the first page.

**Okay, I need girl names! Any original or names you love will do!=) Please, that's all i'm asking!**


	2. Baseball

_June 20__th__ 1914_

_My birthday has finally rejoiced around the entire year. I'm turning 13, finally able to do things on my own freewill. My parents have been very protected, since "I'm their only child" and worried I'll be going something to do with crimes that I might commit. But what am I going to do anyway? Steal a bank? Well if I piped down a cigarette or drink a glass of whiskey, that might be possible, but I never touched a drug in my life, and vowed myself I wouldn't. Well, this is my very first time ever-writing personal anything like this down since I'm always talking to people about my life, but never this personal. Where to start?_

_I was born this very like a normal birth a mother usually has on June 20__th__ 190 in the morning of England. My parents were blessed with my survival since it's impossible to survive these days with babies being born and that sort with infectious diseases. Here's what the truth about me is: I never forget one little detail so everything I write is stoned on my grave, but that'll take too long so I'll just go with the important stuff. I started walking when I was six months and three days old and started talking eight months and ten days old. When I was five, I had a fear of water. Embarrassing as that sound, I hated getting clean. Dirt in my age was my paradise to heaven, leading me to the golden road to the gates of heaven. That fear continued until I was seven. _

_When I was eight, that's when I met my best friend Jack Williams, the smoothest and most talented man I ever met. I always wanted to be like him, since he was so light on his feet and the way he talked to girls. I was so modest, so shy to even be around them. All of the girls stared at me all the time while Jack tries to get their attention but fails. _

_When Jack and I were ten, we would always play with his small but heavy ball to practice our throwing. I love baseball; it's my only thing I do at daytime while at night I would sleep when I was eleven. Before we knew how to play baseball, we would play catch with ball, as entertainment. I would have to thank Alexander Cartwright or else baseball would never be invented. _

_I was in my house, eating my waffle with maple syrup on a Saturday morning at 10:30 in the kitchen with my mum wearing her favorite apron making my father and I breakfast. My father was reading the newspaper with his smart looking glasses and his work outfit. I was wearing my baseball shirt that has grass stains all over it since I'm outfielder in baseball. Jack and I are going to practice our throwing, even though we've been doing this for three years. Jack is only a month older than I am so I look up to him as an older brother, even though no one has ever notice the difference. Jack's father is in prison while his mom is really insane. My parents call him "son" sometimes when he comes over. _

_Jack entered into our house like he always does since my parents told him never to knock. He came in with his dark brown short hair and brown eyes like a prince with his baseball shirt and cap. He had his mitt that was signed by our friend and now famous pitcher Jonathan Parker, the best pitcher ever. Jack wants to be a pitcher like Jonathan and he practices everywhere he goes, even in his house. Jonathan taught us how to play baseball and Jack and I agreed that we would never forget that. _

"_Greetings Masens. Are you ready to go Eddie?" He smiled at me with excitement. Today was the most challenging game ever since we are playing 15 and 16 year olds. The teams are Jack, Andy, Reilly, Thomas, James, Johnny, Greg, Tony, Louis and I while we are against the most bullying guys we've ever met. The leader of the gang is Hunter Frilly, the toughest, smooth talking bastard I've ever met. He's even better than Jack. He hated me the most out of everyone since I challenged him at baseball and I lost but during the whole game, I kept threatening him since I was so anxious to win. _

_Our players we have on our team are spectacular players, perfect for any team. Andy Wilson is the best catcher/batter we ever had. Jack and he worked out their signals, which makes us win the majority of the games we had. Reilly Anderson is our first base and he's really good at throwing. I wouldn't say he's best at catching but he's fast with the ball. Thomas or "Tommy" Lewis is our second base and he's a natural. He's Jack and my friend that we go to our favorite place, "The Ice cream parlor" that's a block away. James and Johnny Smith are identical twins that fight all the time. They both take turns on third base while the other goes to the outfield with me. James was probably a better player than Johnny since Johnny always curved his throws too much while James is an average player. Greg and Tony Pavilion are brothers but Tony is 11 while Greg is 13 like everyone else and I so Tony is our youngest player. Louis Henry is our umpire, the one that recalls on any moves since he read the rules very thirty times. He's bright for a little kid since he's12. _

"_Yes, I'm ready, bye mum, bye dad." I waved but they looked like they were going to protest. _

"_Edward, finish your waffle before you go." My mum ordered with a stern voice. _

"_But the game in ten minutes," I protested, "I can't be late to the biggest game ever." I can not miss history. _

"_Oh Lassie, let your son go." My father teased. He would call her "Lassie" when he wants to make fun of her. She despised that name but it usually makes me laugh. _

_She sighed, "Oh alright, go and good luck."_

"_Thanks mum! Bye!" Jack and I ran to the front door, running as fast as we can. The filed was about two blocks away from my house but I didn't want to miss anything. Jack and I ran at the same speed with the heat sitting on us with the fresh sun. _

"_This is going to be a victory game today." He commented, while we were still running, "Lets just hope we don't loose this time."_

"_We need an idea so that we're impossible to beat." I pointed out. He nodded while we were still running down the street and onto a dirt road, leading us to the filed shorter. We were finally there with our team waiting for us. Jack and I were the captains for our team since we were both inspired to play baseball before anyone else. Jack and I were on the sweet smell of fresh grass with the tan dirt and the bases with we all made before we started playing. Everyone was wearing their cap except me since I don't really like hats. _

"_Finally Masen and Jack arrived," Andy commented. Andy always called me "Masen" while everyone else called me "Eddie". "Lets practice, get in your positions!" Everyone cheered, running around. Andy usually goes first up to bat while Jack was pitching and I would be catcher. I had my mitt out ready to catch with Jack giving me signals. I placed a two while he nodded. He pitched a curved ball, which made Andy miss and I caught it. _

"Strike one." I announced, throwing the ball back to Jack. Everyone was laughing at Andy who made him pissed. I gave him a one but he shook his head. Then I signaled three and he nodded. He pitched me the ball but Andy hits it almost out of the ballpark but it was a foot away. No one caught it so Andy ran so he can have a home run. Johnny and James were fighting so only Greg and Tony were after it. Tommy held his hand out so he can catch it while I was anxious to see if Andy was going to make it. Tony was running with the ball as fast as he can. Throwing it to James but he wasn't paying attention. Instead, it hit James at the forehead, making him fall backwards. We all laughed hysterically, especially Andy as he jumps on home base.

_Then Hunter and his gang approaching silenced us all. Hunter had long rusty color hair with the most crooked teeth I've ever seen. His team was worst than he is. One of them was too muscular for baseball and the others were way too thin. But then there was a girl with them. A girl that had beautiful curly copper color hair was walking down shyly with no intention why she's watching our game with her rose color dress that looked like a play dress. She had a beautiful hat resting on her head with a ribbon tied around it while the ladies wear fashionably. Her smile was unforgettable the way her smile was presented. Her dimples were beautiful on her face with nothing but clear face. I don't know why but I couldn't stop staring at her for ten seconds. My heart was beating too hard and it was impossible to concentrate. What is wrong with me? _

"_Eddie! Are you okay?" Jack shouted while James threw a baseball at my back. _

"_Ouch! I'm okay." I answered, aching in pain with my back bruised. They can be so observant sometimes. Hunter was walking towards me with his horrible scent of his personal high gene killing the background around his. I wanted to cover my nose but then it would look too obvious. _

"_Ah the smell of victory in my hands since this will be the game I'll never forget. I brought my gal Aileana to the game so she can see your team fall on our mercy if that's okay with you. If you faltered, we automatically win." Hunter grinned, "Do you falter, Masen?"_

"_Why would I falter on my own game?" I retorted, "Now lets play so we can get this battle over with."_

_He smirked walking to the home base with his wooden bat while his team was behind the pitchers mound with a chained fence that very protective. I ran towards outfield so I can be prepared. Jack pitched the ball to hunter, which made him hit it. It was a high ball and it was at my direction. Perfect! I held my glove out so I can catch it. I held the ball landed quickly in my hand and grabbed it with my all my strength. _

"_Hunter is out!" Louis recalled while our team was hopping up and down full of joy. I threw the ball to Jack with pride as I grinned. Hunter rolled his eyes, walking away from the home plate, walking towards the girl. The girl shrugged, giving him a sympathy smile. Man she was an amazing girl or woman. _

_Half an hour later, the score was 5 to 1 with us leading. I guess we might win this victory after all. Hunter was up to bat snarling at me. I had my mitt prepared to catch it as Jack pitched Hunter the ball. He hits the ball as usually with a distant one. I need to catch this or else we might not win. I ran as fast as I can towards it with all of my energy. When the ball was close to the ground, I leaped in the air, hopping to catch it. But I landed on the ground to quickly that the ball was still falling. I reached out of my hand when I landed and I closed my eyes since I didn't want to look. When I opened my eyes, the ball was magically in my hands._

"_I caught it!" I yelled while my team was cheering. Hunter groaned, frustrated while my team ran to me, picking me up, kept chanting, "Eddie!" as loud as they can. Hunter and his team walked away angry._

"_You'll pay Masen!" he threatened but I ignored him as usual. Then I saw Aileana smiling at me, clapping. I gave her friendly smile that made her blush. That amused me. My team finally put me down so I could stand up properly. _

"_Lets celebrate at the Ice Cream parlor!" Jack suggested, "Ice cream is on me!" everyone ran with Jack while I stood there, hoping that Aileana wouldn't be here all by herself. _

"_Aren't coming?" I asked her. That's the first words I've ever said to her._

_She shrugged, "If I'm allowed." She had the most beautiful voice that didn't even sound British. _

"_What do you mean?" I asked, confused with her response. _

"_Well my team didn't win," she explained, "so I wasn't invited to your celebration."_

"_Well now you are, would you like to come to the Ice Cream parlor with me?" I smiled while she smiled back. _

"_I would love to." She walked closer to me, walking as fast as she can. "Thank you."_

"_Your name is Aileana? That's very beautiful." I commented when she approached me. _

"_Thank you," she replied, "Your name is Eddie? Interesting."_

_I chuckled, "Please call me Edward, only guys on my team call me Eddie."_

"_Okay then Edward, I like that better, sounds more formal."_

_I nodded, "Yes it does. So we better get walking."_

_We walked together, talking about ourselves. Her name is Aileana Nelson from New York. She moved two weeks ago with no one but her aunt. Her parents died in a tragic accident so her rich picky aunt made her move to England. She likes it here in England but she often gets lonely. She doesn't like Hunter like I don't but she follows him because she has no one else. I told her to always talk to me and she smiled and continued her story. She loves to sew and paint stuff for her aunt or anyone. She wears her dresses because her aunt makes her everyday. She hates the fancy life and rather takes the easy life, but I said life isn't easy. She agreed with me but she still wished it were easier like I do. _

_When we go to the parlor, my whole team was there and so we decided to sit in a private table. She had vanilla ice cream while I had a cherry soda. She grabbed another spoon since she wanted to share her ice cream. I thought that was very nice of her but not necessary. We just continued to talk about George Washington or John Adams and she was very fascinated into that like I am. She talked about her best friend name Adalyn who was what she described just like she is. I talked about Jack and she found it fascinating. I took little bits of her ice cream while I let her take a sip of my cherry soda. We were like a couple, but she probably doesn't considerate us like that and I understand. Well sort of. _

_We were done with the ice cream so we walked out of the parlor. She said she had to go home. I volunteered to take her home but she declined and she probably preferred to walk home alone. I nodded as she walked away from me. I took in a deep sigh, walking back into the parlor so I can be with my victory team. I entered the parlor, thinking about Aileana in a different way than I expected._

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Bella's POV

I sighed, closing the notebook. I needed a break but I found that fascinating that he plays baseball and caught a ball from distant. That was different than I thought and this Aileana person sounded pretty and nice but there was a pang of jealousy rushing through my veins. He called someone beautiful other than myself. I didn't know if I want to continue to read this but a part of me wanted to know what happens. I opened the notebook back open, resuming my reading.

**I hope you like this so far. Any ideas you have in your heads are welcome!=)**


	3. Kiss

_July 14__th__ 1915_

_Sorry I haven't written anything for ages, it's just nothing has happened except thinking about Aileana and baseball. I went to the baseball field alone since I didn't feel like any company at the moment. For almost a year now, all I kept thinking about was Aileana since her beauty wasn't erasable. I haven't seen her around since the beginning of June so I kept thinking was she okay? Did she die? I hope not. I remember at Christmas, my parents wanted to host a "Happy Christmas" party and they invited the Nelsons. I talked to Aileana for the majority of the party but I didn't kiss her since Hunter interrupted me since he wanted to dance with her and she was too polite to decline the dance invitation. I wanted to kiss her under the mistletoe but she walked away before I could. I didn't know what was wrong with me. That was the most excruciating experience I've ever been through since I couldn't stop staring at her or I messed up with my words. Then on Valentines Day, I gave her this delicious chocolates but her boyfriend Hunter gave her a stuff animal. She hung out with him for than I did and they are now close to engagement. My heart wanted to be torn into pieces when she always walked away with him. I knew I wasn't just fancying her. I knew that I'm in love with her. Young love, my mother always says. _

_I sat on the out field grass with the beautiful sunset about to set. Suddenly I heard someone approached near by. I didn't dare to turn my head but what if it was she? What if it was Aileana? But then again, what if it was Jack or Tommy? You never know unless you turn your head, Edward._

_I turned my head to see it was she. It was Aileana with her beautiful locks of hairs flying since it was windy out. She walked towards me with a smile until she was right above me. "Do you mind if I join you?" she asked politely. I shook my head so with her beautiful pink dress right next to me. I was staring at the sunset and so was she. I took a glimpse at her with a smile. _

"_You look lovely." I smiled while I noticed she blushed. _

"_Thank you, I made this dress myself," She told me, "it took awhile."_

"_I bet. So how come I haven't seen you in ages?" I asked curious to hear her response. _

"_Because I've been busy, you know living in high class society since my aunt is very wealthy. She wants me to marry to marry a man with wealth so I could be taken care of. But to tell you the truth, that's not what I want. I just want a man that loves me for me, you know what I mean?" She asked me while I was looking into her eyes. _

_I nodded, "That's what I want too but with woman not men."_

_She laughed, "I know what you mean." I blushed since that was something I never imagine myself ever saying. I never knew I could blush. That's very odd to me. _

"_I love your laugh," I commented, "very pure."_

"_Thank you, I think it's adorable when you blush." She smiled. _

"_Thank you." I mumbled while she giggled. I smiled sine I love to see her happy. "I wish the best luck finding the man in your wildest dreams."_

"_You're such a great friend, thank you." She smiled, while I nodded. _

"_You want us just to be friends?" I asked, raising my eyebrow. _

"_Well you wished me luck and I said you're a good friend for wishing me luck, that's all. Why?" She asked calmly, even though in her mind, I could tell she wasn't controlled. _

"_Oh nothing," I shook my head, "nothing, I wasn't thinking." I was completely humiliated since I wasn't thinking clearly at all. What am I going to do?_

"_Edward, are you okay? You don't seem…okay." She swallowed. _

"_I'm fine, I'm decent, nothing wrong with me." I lied. I'm such a horrible liar since she didn't look convinced. _

"_Oh my!" She covered her mouth. She found out that I fancied her. Now what am I going to do since this I feel so strange. _

"_I can explain…" I winced but she covered my mouth with her soft hand. _

"_You…you…you… fancy me?" her eyes widened, her beautiful brown eyes. I nodded, ashamed but she needed my honesty. "How long?"_

"_Since I first met you," I admitted, "but then it grew more and more every time we talked or I see you. I wanted to tell you—"_

"_Then why didn't you?" she interrupted me. _

"_Because Hunter was always in the way." I admitted, frowning. We looked at each other without a word. I was observing her reaction while she was looking down at her hands, fiddling with them. She was obviously mad or sad at me but I couldn't tell which one it was. She looked up five minutes later with tears in her eyes. _

"_Well, you're never going to accept that Hunter and I are together aren't you?" she rasped. I shook my head while she sniffled, "Okay then, I think I should go."_

"_Aileana, please tell how you feel about me," I begged, "That's all I ask."_

"_I want you as a friend," She stuttered, "I don't know what else."_

_I frowned, looking down while she was sobbing all the sudden. I looked up seeing she had red around her eyes with tears streaming down, "Edward, what do you want me to do?"_

"_Be with me." I whispered. _

"_You must be out of your mind," she whispered back. _

"_Not this time." I pressed my lips against hers. She didn't try to stop me so we continued with our very passionate kiss. This of course was my first kiss of course, but not hers. Her lips felt soft and warm with her tongue nothing ordinary. It felt weird to me at first. But then I realized that I don't this will ever happen to me again. She finally stopped me looking up at me and she was still sobbing. "What's wrong?"_

"_I don't know what to do anymore. Hunter is going to be angry with me." She whispered, "I have no intention what he would do if he saw me here with you., but to be quite I don't really care. Edward, I want to be with you."_

"_Then you can have me." I whispered. I leaned my head to press my lips against hers again. The light was out so there were stars in the sky as our light, but we continued not looking up at the stars. Right there was a sing of true love. I'm hoping she feels it too. _

_--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

Bella's POV

Oh my god! Edward had his first kiss with someone that wasn't I! How dare he! He kept this from me but why? True love? What about me? Why didn't he rescue her and turn her to a vampire? I was outraged or going way into this. Suddenly I heard the door open. Crap! I hid the journal right back to the box, not really caring about marking my page since Edward was back. I put it back onto my shelf. But I really wanted to continue this story since that was very interesting. Frustrating, but fascinating. Edward opened the door with Renesmee running towards me. I gave her a hug, picking her up but not squishing her too hard. I kissed her cheek, acting like nothing ever happened to me.

"How was your grandparents house?" I asked her, picking her up with her legs on my side.

"Good." she placed her hands on my face. She was going to show me her time at her grandparent's house. She played with Rosalie, Emmett and Jacob with dolls while Jasper, Esme, and Carlisle were watching them. Edward was playing the piano as music. It looked fun but it was worth it to read his journal. Then Edward made her eat chocolate and she loved with but some of it was dripping down her face. Everyone was laughing with Renesmee giggling. Jacob was swinging with her as she was laughing. She was with Jacob the majority of time, which I thought it was sweet. Rosalie and Emmett were sitting with each other on the couch. I always wish they would have a child since it would be so beautiful. Then Edward and Renesmee went home and entered upstairs.

I smiled, giving her hug. "I'm glad you had a great time." She nodded while Edward smiled. He walked towards me while I placed Renesmee on the ground. She ran out of the room so it was just Edward and I. He kissed my forehead but somehow I felt different. I was imaging myself as Aileana in a way.

"What did you do while we were gone?" he asked.

"Read." I answered, nodding my head. I didn't want to tell him what I was reading. "How about you and Renesmee go to the fair tomorrow?"

"What about you?" he asked, widening his eyes in a way. I didn't want to lie but I had to think of good reasons. I want to finish my book. I could say that but he'll just say "you can finish it right now". I could say I want to read it outside when there's light out since its nighttime right now. Perfect I got it planned out!

"I want to finish my book." I answered. He raised his eyebrow and shrugged. I hope he doesn't go any further with this.

"Okay, well actually the family and I want to go to Disneyland since we heard it's going to be cloudy." He told me. Disneyland? We never go to Disneyland.

"Have fun." I smiled, "I don't need to go." I was so desperate to finish the journal. I wonder if she's still alive or not.

"I want you to go." He kissed my forehead.

I shook my head, "I'm fine, and someone needs to guard this house."

He didn't look convince. "It'll be really fun, and we haven't been to California before so just for kicks, we just decided to look on and it said it was going to be cloudy since it's winter."

"I'm not a ride freak so I'll be staying out most of the time." I lied. I love going on rides, especially at the fair. Why am I continuing to lie to him? He doesn't deserve it.

He sighed, "Okay, well we're leaving tonight since we wanted to have dinner there earlier. I'll help Renesmee pack so have fun reading. We'll be gone for about two days. Alice said she'll meet us there tomorrow."

Suddenly the phone rang. It might be Alice seeing me reading his journal. Crap! I picked up the phone faster than Edward luckily. "Hello?" I answered, nervous.

"Bella! You picked up, yes! I saw you reading Edward's—" I hung up the phone, placing it back at the charger. He raised his eyebrow while I gave a simple smile. The phone rang again and I picked up again.

"Alice don't kill me…"

"But why are you—" I hung up again because I didn't want him to hear anything. I took a unnecessary sigh, smiling again. He left the room, going to help Nessie pack her things for Disneyland. I shrugged, sitting on the bed.

Ten minutes later, they were done packing so I went down stairs to say good-bye. I pressed my lips against his passionately and urgent. I kissed Renesmee forehead giving her a hug with Edward as a group hug. They left as I heard then drove away. I immediately ran upstairs to continue reading. I opened my door, grabbing his journal and going on the bed to continue where I was left off.

**I hope you enjoyed it! Please review!**


	4. Swimming

_July 16__th__, 1915_

_Aileana and I got extremely close. Two days ago at the baseball field made miracles for me. We would kiss everytime we see each other and leave. Yesterday, she came to my baseball game to support me. She was my good luck charm since my team won. We shared an ice cream together with spoons and a cup, being open with each other. We would take turns asking questions to know each other. She asked the hardest questions while I was easy on her so she wouldn't be offended if I ask something too complex. I learned not to insult woman._

_Today is a glorious day the sun shining and birds chirping. Aileana and I were going swimming today at the lake a mile away. She said she's a professional swimmer while I'm adequate. I was wearing my old dirty shirt I wore a week ago since the rest of my shirts were hanging outside. I had my shorts on that I was planning on using to swim with._

_I was walking to her house that was three blocks away with my baseball shoes and socks on my feet. I wasn't the best dresser, I'll admit but we were just going to swim, nothing else. I was excited to swim since the lake looked beautiful yesterday when Aileana and I were walking there to look at it._

_I reached her house as Aileana was walking towards me with her amazing smile. She was wearing a while dress with white tennis shoes like she was going to play tennis. I gave her a smile since I was excited to see her. I pressed my lips against her with our tongues touching. It felt like I was flying in the air, how magical it was. We stopped to look at each other._

_"You look beautiful," I commented, "Are you ready to go?"_

_"I am, I'm so excited to swim. I never have been in the lake before." She smiled, "Lets go." We started to walk south since the lake was in that direction. We were holding hands while I was carrying a towel on the other arm. She was carrying her towel on her other arm._

_"Have you talked to Hunter yet?" I asked her. I was dying to know if she ended with Hunter. If I had to beat him up if he didn't leave her alone or not._

_She looked guilty so I knew what she was going to say. "I haven't talked to Hunter. We are going to the park for a picnic tonight and I'll tell him then. Edward, I need time to actually tell him since he's falling madly in love with me and I might be—"_

_My eyes widened, "Are you madly in love with him?"_

_"I don't know how I feel about him, but he's not my enemy like you are with him. He can be quite charming when he's not around everyone." She told me. I want to cut him into pieces when I heard her say "charming" about him. He is never charming, that's just not his personality. He was obnoxious arrogant jerk._

_"Have you read Cyrano de Bergerac?" I asked her. It was one of my favorite novels since it was sort of reminding me of the events happening now._

_"I did read it." She replied._

_"Well to me you're my Roxane and I'm Cyrano. Hunter is Christian." I told her, "I can be poetic but I never got to prove it."_

_"I don't need poets to tell me poems," She sighed, "I just want a man to love me."_

_"I will love you," I assured, "When I got to know you more, my emotions for you will grow like a tree."_

_She smiled, "But Roxane marries Christian though."_

_"She loved him for beauty." I reminded her._

_"What are you trying to prove to me?" She asked, annoyed. That was the last emotion I want her to feel of me: annoyed. If you're annoyed with someone, that leads to sadness and anger._

_"To look at Hunter and me again." I admitted._

_"What do you possibly mean by that?"_

_I stopped to look into her eyes. She looked back at me with her eyes at mine. "Look into my eyes and tell me that you don't love me." I told her._

_"I—I—I don—I don't—you're right I can't do it." She stammered, "Well so what! It's rude to tell people that anyway."_

_I was not convinced at all. But I decided to let it go with a shrug and we continued to walk to the lake. We didn't hold hands this time, and I agreed that it wasn't the best time. We were almost there as we approached the forest part of our trail. It was very quiet and odd walking next to her. But her scent made it less odd, more calming._

_We were at the lake with no one there, tresses surrounding the lake. It looked so beautiful the sun above us and so huge than it did last night. I took off my shirt, leaving my shorts on with my shoes and socks off as well. I ran to the lake, jumped into the lake. The water was cool with my light color skin as I came up. I was standing up since the lake was 5'5 feet where I was. Aileana was just standing there watching me with a concentrated expression that was never defined._

_"Are you coming in?" I asked, shouted so she could here me. She looked at me with frightened eyes. She started to undress herself while I was remaining still. She had her white bra on and pink underwear that looked beautiful on her. She was the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. She ran onto a cliff that was not that far away so she could jump into the deeper end of the lake. She dived into the water gracefully with her arms in front of her body. She landed with grace with no big waves. I smiled when she rose up from the water, swimming towards me._

_"See how I dived? It took a lot of practice, can you tell?" She asked me with her smile. Her voice was the sound of dignity._

_I nodded, "Very gracefully done."_

_"Thank you!" She dipped her head into the water, swimming around me like a serpent._

_"Aileana, I love you." I told her._

_She smiled, "I love you too, Edward. That's what I was thinking about when we were walking. I don't want Hunter since he never took me seriously. I want you Edward Masen."_

_"I want you Aileana Nelson." I whispered. She wrapped her legs around my waist, pressing her lips against mine. She just told me that she loved me; life couldn't get better than that. I loved her and I meant it. I don't know if I would ever stop, even if god separated us._

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Bella's POV

I sighed, stopped reading the journal for one minute. He said he would never stop loving her, did he mean that? I hope not because what will I be to him? His replacement? What if he thought I was Aileana's spirit? I mean she and I have a lot of stuff in common so it's possible. His description in the journal matched mine. I loved this journal, and now it doesn't matter if Aileana was with him then, I married him now and we have a beautiful daughter. I flipped to the next page to read the next entry.


	5. Birthday

_September 18__th__, 1916_

_Two days ago was Aileana's birthday, turning 15. She had a party, inviting the baseball players the girls she met at school that she got along with perfectly. She and Hunter never spoke to each other again since Aileana broke it off about a year ago. He was of course oblivious and denial. She told him that she was in love with me like she is of course. _

_She's going to an all girls private school like her aunt wanted her to do. But we see each other every day, talking, walking and then at night, kissing. We tell each other that we love each other at least twice a week since we didn't want to be attached. She was being coy with me, which made me thrilled. I love that she plays with me a little. She comes to my house to see my parents since they are good friends, playing poker. She wins, of course with her luck. She was one of the luckiest person I've ever met. _

_The past year and couple of months has been the best year and months of my life. Being 15 has been an amazing life; especially getting the privilege to be with Aileana as much as I want since 15 is the age of independence in my family. I really improved on Baseball since I practice with Jack everyday before I see Aileana. Jack is with this girl name Sara that is just wild for him. She's wild herself and Jack really goes wild. He grew a mustache just so he can prove to her how manly he can be. It's rather amusing looking and Aileana hates it and says, "shave that cat off under your nose", that was probably the funniest thing I ever heard. _

_The party was really entertaining as Aileana introduced to me her gal friends she talks about all the time. They were three of them: Lyra, Breanna, and Lorelei. Lyra was very attractive with long golden curly blond hair and very pretty smile but she was nothing like Aileana with Aileana's same height. Breanna had brown hair with light blue eyes, very small but very hyper. Lorelei had black long straight silky hair with brown eyes and same height as Lyra and Aileana. They were evenly attractive but Aileana was always the_ _best. Lyra was too interested of Aileana and mine compassion with all the nosy questions._ _Breanna had a very high pitch voice everytime she spoke while Lorelei was very quiet. I'll admit that they were something. Nothing like Aileana at all which was good. _

_I gave Aileana a golden locket with my picture in it so she wouldn't forget that I loved her. She loved it by immediately putting it around her neck. It fit her perfectly and later on that night she told me that my gift was her favorite. I gave her a kiss of course and went home for the night since it was very late. I had a baseball game tomorrow, more like a championship. I was exhausted with all the greeting and laughter that was during the party. I couldn't wait until tomorrow to see her. Everyday was like a new adventure waiting to happen. That was the way I felt about Aileana but more powerful. I love her, I love her and I love her. I could say better words but that's just basically how I feel in easy terms. I couldn't wait until I was 16 because then that's when I'm hoping to ask her to marry me. I hope. _

Bella's POV

"Must not rip this journal…must not rip this journal," I kept telling my self through my teeth. I was close to but this is all he had of his past, I can never ruin that for him. I took in a breath. I had the box with his human belongings right next to my leg. I wonder what else was in it. In it had records, binoculars, and pictures of Edward with his arm around a girl. I assumed it was Aileana. She looked pretty, prettier than I look. I wondered what happened so I flipped to the next page.

**I hoped you like this short chapter. The next chapter is going to be updated soon, I promise;) It will be longer! Please review!**

_**~Ivy~**_


	6. Marriage

_January 19__th__, 1917_

_Aileana and I were sitting in my living room, talking as we usually do since the lake is frozen and the park has frost all over it. I was resting my arm on the couch; behind her head while she was has her hands on her knees. We were talking how the weather is ruining our school days with the freezing air whenever we reached outside. We never had a day when we never talked to each other. She basically was living with me since she comes over my house. She hates being at her house since her aunt lately has been yelling at her for no apparent reason. My parents don't mind her living with us since they always called her "the daughter they never had"._

_Then we changed our conversation to marriage randomly. She was talking how Breanna got married to this guy name "Louis"._

_"I think Breanna is so lucky, being married," she sighed, closing her eyes._

_"You want to get married?" I asked her, raising my eyebrow. I never thought Aileana would ever want this since she was well…high class._

_"Yes, I do but my aunt won't allow it." She explained, looking at me again. She sat up to take a sip of water from a glass that was on our antique wooden table. She swallowed the water quickly without choking herself._

_"Why won't she let you? You are fifteen." I pointed out, looking at her while she was still leaning forward. She leaned back to talk to me directly._

_"Yes, but she wants me to date someone rich—"_

_"My family is in that region."_

_"Some I love—"_

_"You love me."_

_"Someone that'll take care of—"_

_"I'll take care of you."_

_"You've proven your points but still, she doesn't imagine myself married at fifteen."_

_"Well when do you want to get married then?"_

_"At least seventeen."_

_"I'll wait until then because I'll know that it would be worth it," I told her, "are you willing to wait?"_

_"Yes I am." I pressed my lips against hers after she told me that. We were meant to be so there was no point of breaking apart. I loved her so much that I was willing to take good care of her in every way._

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Bella's POV

I chuckled on how young he was and his way of describing words was so different. He loves her, but she's dead or is she? I have no idea but I don't want to skip ahead or else it'll ruin it for me. The phone rang in my room that shook me a little bit. I assumed it was Edward or Alice since they were the only ones that would consider calling me. I lifted up the phone from its charger to answer. It was Edward since I recognized his cell phone number. I wondered what he wanted. I sighed, "Hello?"

"Hello love, how's the house?" he asked with his charming voice. He asked about the house? Is that the only reason why he called because of a house that I can easily destroy?

"Fine, just the way you left it." I told him in my casual voice. "How's Disneyland?"

"Fun, Renesmee went on all the rides and she loved it. Jacob was being too spoiled with her, giving her every candy in the entire shops."

I laughed, "You didn't stop him?"

"Why should I? It's Disneyland, the happiest place on earth." He chuckled.

"Yeah you're right about that."

"I wished you were here with everyone. You should take a plane and come." He suggested.

"I'm fine, honestly." I told him. I was being honest so there was no guilt to my voice.

"Here, Renesmee wants to talk to you."

"Ok, you can put her on the phone." I waited for ten seconds until I could hear my daughter's voice.

"Hi mama! Disneyland was so much fun!" she was cheering, "I miss you!"

"I miss you too, I'm glad you're having a great time."

"I love you, here's Aunt Alice." I waited until I heard Alice on the phone.

"Hey Bella! Ness—Renesmee was so cute today with her princess costume but don't worry, Rosalie and I took pictures! Like Edward said, Jacob was spoiling her and even stole her for an half and hour."

"Really?" I was shocked that Edward would let him do that.

"Yeah but Edward learned that this was going to happen more often. Here's Emmett he wants to talk to you. Bye Bella!"

"Bye Alice—"

"Hey Bells, everything is amazing! I manage to go on Space Mountain a hundred times! I counted."

"So it wasn't crowded?"

"It was but Jasper and I put on our macho faces and scared everyone away." He laughed hysterically with Jasper's laugh in the background. I rolled my eyes on how they can be very childish. "Your husband wants to talk to you."

"Okay bye Emmett."

"I'm back love, so you basically heard what happened today. I hope you don't mind but everyone wants to stay for two nights."

'No, I don't mind at all, I'm relaxing anyway."

"I'm glad you get to relax. I'm sorry to say this but I have to get off since we have off, the fireworks are about to start. I love you."

"I love you too, bye." I pressed the end button. I sat down again, grabbing his journal. I flipped to the next page with a sigh. It seems like this journal never ends.

**Sorry for delay, please review!**

**~Ivy~**


	7. Spanish Influenza

_May 1st 1918_

_A year and a couple of months went by with many events happening. We were never one day apart at all during the entire year. My family and I went to France and I invited Aileana. Her aunt said yes after a long time of asking her. It was very fun seeing all these famous sites in France with the Eiffel Tower and Notre Dame. Aileana and I walked together, taking tours and going to museums. She knew some French so it was easy to get around the place. We were only there for couple of days before we had to leave. Then after that trip, everyday we would say 'do you remember…' and it was a lot easier to have conversations. On Bastille Day, at night were fireworks so she and I decided to kiss for the entire time during the fireworks. On Halloween, she didn't go trick or treating so she and I handed candy to the kids together. She felt bad since trick or treating was my tradition but she was more important to me. A week before thanksgiving, her aunt died of pneumonia so I told her that she could stay with us until we were old enough to leave on our own. My parents agreed and gave her our attic since there were no other rooms available, other than the creepy basement. We put some of our stuff down there. At Christmas, we visited her aunt's grave to give her flowers and said our prayers. We also exchanged gifts and kissed under mistletoe when we returned. We went ice-skating everyday in January since we had nothing better to do. She kept almost falling but I always helped her up so she wouldn't fall on the hard ice. On Valentines Day, I got her flowers and chocolates that she told me to share with her. We strolled down the park with the snow and at night, we snuggled together to keep each other warm by the fire in our living room. In March, it was finally spring and able to see grass so Jack and I got our team to play baseball. I taught Aileana how to catch and throw so she could be on our team. She was good enough so she officially became a new player of our team. We won tons of games against other kids, but we didn't see Hunter surprisingly. In April, my father got a job in Chicago so that means moving. I had to say good-bye to Jack and our team. It was really sad but at least Aileana was going with me. She was saying good-bye to her friends too but they were crying. We moved to a small apartment in the city since we couldn't afford a house. Couple of days later, my father started coughing randomly. We didn't know what it was but it was scaring Aileana and I. 'It was nothing', he said but my mother wasn't convince. She told him to stay home and he agreed with a nod. A week later, my mother started coughing and sneezing constantly. Yesterday, Aileana started coughing. I realized that they were all sick and needed to go to the hospital as soon as possible. Then today, I started coughing. We went to the hospital, entering in there coughing. The nurses looked panicked at our coughing, knowing what was our sickness. A nurse came walking to us, 'come with me, we'll get you rooms'. We had to be in a different room so wouldn't get any worse than right now. A nurse put my father in a room first and then my mother. They put Aileana across from their room with me next to Aileana's room. I was lying on a bed, coughing constantly and in pain. My lungs felt tightened that it was hard to breathe. A doctor came into my room two hours later name Dr. Cullen telling me that I had Spanish Influenza along with my family. He told me that my parents were going to die since they were weaker than I was so I was aloud to come and see them before that happens. I was able to cough a little less but I still had to go in my room to cough. I visited Aileana that was crying, kept saying 'I'm going to die, I'm going to die'. I tried to reassure her that we wouldn't die, at least not yet when we are still young. A doctor told me to leave her room so I obeyed. I went into my room, knowing that I was very close to dying._

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Bella's POV

I felt so sorry for Edward, knowing that he would die. I didn't really want to finish this since I knew what happened. What about Aileana? I decided to flip to the next page.

**That's probably one of the best chapters I've written so far. I know it's really sad; I really wanted to cry! Please review! **

**~Ivy~**


	8. Explanation

_May 8th 1918_

_My father died yesterday while my mother was still in grief but trying to strive to stay alive. Aileana was close to dying yesterday but Dr. Cullen saved her life with medication and an inhaler. I was the strongest out of my entire family but I grown worse. I could barely get out of the bed without coughing. I—I can't write anymore. My lungs—they are—bye._

_May 10th 1918_

_I'm sorry for not continuing my passage two days ago. I was close to dying with my lungs tightening that it was impossible to finish. I didn't feel well at all yesterday and today I feel worse. My mother died yesterday in her sleep without any screams of agony in her room. Aileana and I—are—I can't fin_

_May 12th_

_May 13_

_May 1_

_May_

_Ma_

_M_

_M_

_M_

_Ma_

_May_

_Ma_

_May_

_Ma_

_M_

_M_

_June 20th 1918_

_I died two days ago as a human. For days, I couldn't even finish the date and a week ago, I couldn't even write the "M" or "J". Now I have become a monster beyond my widest dreams. I have become a life sucker. I have become a vampire. My scents are more powerful than a bloodhound, my ears are more powerful than a lion, and my sight is more powerful than eagle. I live to kill innocent people for my thirst that I can't control. Why am I living this?_

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Bella's POV

WHAT HAPPENED TO AILEANA???!!! I was bewildered that it was the last page and yet nothing happened to Aileana. Did she die? Is she alive? It was the day Edward and Renesmee were supposed to return from Disneyland so I am going to start questioning him. I was outraged that he would leave out the detail of the girl he loved.

I scent his presence about to enter into the front door. I placed everything except the journal back into the box, placing it onto of the shelf. I heard thumping coming up the stairs as I kneeled on my knees on the carpet. I heard him tuck in Renesmee, giving her a kiss goodnight. I heard footsteps coming closer and closer towards the door. I heard the knob twist a little bit until it was finally opened.

"Why didn't you tell me about this journal?" I snapped at him, not even daring myself to look at him.

"What journal?" he asked casually.

"Don't act confused, the journal of what you wrote when you were human. The memories you shared with Jack, Hunter, Aileana, how can you forget about that," I turned around to face him, "We have been married for almost a year and you didn't tell me about this! We never hide things from each other! Tell me what happened to Aileana, Jack, Hunter, and your baseball team."

He looked down, looking like he was in pain. He took in an unnecessary sigh. "Jack Williams died March 5th 1995 from a heart attack since he started smoking when he was twenty. He got married five times and divorced all his wives since they kept bugging him about his addiction. Andy Wilson died in 1959 from a car crash that wasn't his fault. He was happily married to this beautiful woman name Cheryl Hoff, and she died a day later by suicide. Tommy is still alive, living in a retirement home in New York, telling kids about the early 1900's for schools all around the globe. He's married with two sons and five grand children. He never did drugs so he's 105 now, still living healthy. James and Johnny Smith both died in different times. James died in 1977 and Johnny died in the 1969, both died by suicide due to their jail record from raping girls. Greg Pavilion died from lung cancer in 1972 while Tony Pavilion died of head damage from falling of a horse in 1988. Hunter died in 1966 from falling off a roof, repairing a roof for a young couple. He died without being married or having a girlfriend. Aileana—she died two months ago in Italy with her granddaughter name Abby. She died peacefully in her bed from old age. I was devastated when I heard but she did survive the Spanish Influenza since I begged Carlisle to take care of her 24/7 so she would live. There, you know the truth. I do love her but now in a different way. I love her as she was my sister but I love you more than my own life. I was seventeen and stupid and yet I'm seventeen and still stupid. The point I'm trying to prove is no one is going to take your place."

"Can we visit her grave?" I asked him, hoping he would say yes.

"Yes, anytime we want."

"Lets go then."

"It's late, we can go tomorrow when the cemetery is open."

"Okay, that's fine, tell me more of your life as a human that wasn't mentioned in the journal."

Edward's POV

This was so difficult for me, to see my old love burried underneath my feet. I was in a tuxedo while Bella was in plain clothes since she refused to dress up. We left Renesmee with Carlisle and Esme so Bella and I can go there in peace. She was actually buried here in Washington, 30 miles away from Forks. It was where she met her husband (I read about it).We were standing right in front of her grave that said:

**_Aileana Nelson Morgan_**

**_August 3rd 1901-May 3rd 2009_**

**_Loving wife, devoted mother, beautiful woman_**

**_Lived an amazing life as a History Teacher_**

**_Died of old age in her sleep_**

I wanted to shed a tear reading that grave stone. I loved Bella with all of my heart but I couldn't speak my last words in front of her. "Bella, can I meet you at the car?" She placed a rose with no thorns on her grave and nodded. She walked away leaving me stare at the gravestone.

I took in a sigh and released. "Hello Aileana. It is I, Edward Masen, but in this case Edward Cullen. I remember when we first met. It was at one of my baseball games and you called me "Eddie". I wrote that in my journal from the time we met until the day we parted. How am I alive? I'm a monster. I don't have time to explain but I will soon. I'm happy we survived but believe me that you wouldn't want to become what I am right now. That's why I didn't try to find you. Aileana, I cared too much about you to do anything about it and I'm sorry. I couldn't stop thinking about you or our moments together on the lake or the baseball park. I thought I wouldn't find love again but I was wrong. I found my wife and I have now my child. I didn't write everything down like I would have wanted to because I thought we would be together forever that we would tell our children and grandchildren our stories, but I wrong again. You must know that you are always my first love and my human years are unforgettable because of you. I place this rose as a sign of your beauty and my love that I had for you and still have. I must go now but I'll try to visit you as much as possible and hopefully that one-day we would be together again."

~The End~

**_I wanted to cry at Edward's words. I hoped you liked the last chapter._**


	9. Author Note PLEASE READ

* * *

**A/N: Hey everyone. I know few of you didn't like my ending but I'm here to explain. Edward in this story is not a bad character. The journal writing are all in the past. He may still love Aileana, but not as much as Bella as everyone should know. He has that strong passion for Bella still like in the Twilight saga so nothing has changed in that part. What he meant on, "We will be together again" I meant by either when he dies or something, they'll be together (not necessarily eloping but like friends or something I don't know I never thought it through). I'm sorry to those whom are very disappointed with my ending, or the story wasted his or her time. I know he was born in Chicago, but I decided to make it a twist since I love British boys. My grammar was not the best, but that was before I learned a lot more hints. My spelling isn't perfect either so I apologize for that. I tried to make it look like a journal, but I also tried making it look like a flash back. I want to thank you the ones that had time to write a review, it really got me motivated. It took me a while with the chapters because I had to think of what should happen next. I just wanted to clear it up so there would hopefully be anymore flames. Just PM me if you want to flame instead of reviewing, just for my sake. That's it :)**

**~Ivy~**

**Oh wait! I forgot, I have an award site called, "TNMEBD Awards" on FanFiction that would be nice for you to check it out or just do it. I would appreciate it a lot :) Read more by going to my Fav Authors and find it or just copy the link on my profile. **


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